This is it—the final project for this class is here.  Can you believe how much time has gone by?  Anyway, for this project, we were basically given free reign to do whatever we wished.  This freedom has its pluses and minuses.  The plus—you can finally do those things you didn’t have the chance to before.  The minus—when the mind goes blank, what do you make?  Well, after thinking long and hard, I finally came up with something that I had never done before.  Before anything else is stated, let me tell you about the theme of my project.

      I decided to do my project around the concept of “celebratory surprises.”  Previously in class, we discussed the idea of fear.  One kind of fear that I think everyone experiences is fear of the unknown.  If we don’t have all the details about something, we can fear that an experience or an object or a person can lead to bad, even harmful consequences.  What about those moments, though, when surprises can lead to enjoyment?  We as human beings like when the unexpected springs up out of nowhere and leads to good times.  Surprise parties, presents, unanticipated contest winnings, and the like provide us with short breaks from the mundane.  Surprises allow us to have fun and to not worry about planning every detail.  In my project, I want to capture this kind of emotion.  To break it down—it’s my excuse to be five years old again, when the world is still exciting and full of new surprises. 

      What exactly is my project?  Now, if I told you, where would the surprise be in that?  Okay, okay—I’ll give you a sneak peak.  Here it is:

So… you think of yourself as quite the private “eye.”  You think you’ve got it all figured it out, do you?  Too bad– you’ll still have to wait for the final reveal just like everyone else.

- LG

      Our class today involved duct tape.  Lots and lots of duct tape.  Each person had to take a piece of tape and put it over his/her mouth.  We then proceeded to go outside, notice our surroundings with our senses, and try to communicate with each other without talking.  We didn’t just go outside the school door, though.  We went out in public and did this around average citizens who looked on in perplexity.  Joggers passed by and families took photos of their innocent toddlers as we performed our crazy antics around Military Park and the canal in downtown Indianapolis.  Each of us made strange gestures and silly sounds in an effort to creatively communicate our ideas.  It was certainly an unforgettable experience.  I can still feel my lips slightly stick together from the duct tape glue.  The activity certainly made me realize that God gave man a voice for a reason.  Today’s reason-you need a voice to explain to onlookers that you’re not crazy; you’re just performing an experiment.  Note to self– must learn sign language- LOL.

- LG

          What is the difference between seeing and looking?  Both words mean the same thing, right?  Well, as Mary Poppins would put it, “It all depends upon your point of view.”  Now the casual reader (not you, the cynical male one in cyberspace) is saying-

           “Great.  It’s going to be one of those posts.  I’m gonna watch… Hannah Montana or some funk like that.  Let me know how it goes.”

            Are you going to look at Hannah, or are you going to see Hannah?

            “What?”

            Are you going to look at it or see it?

            “What the heck does that mean?”

            Well, you’re actually looking at the show on the TV screen, aren’t you?

            “Yeah…”

            You notice Miley, from her clothes to her blonde Hannah wig?

            “Wait-what are you getting at?  Are you suggesting that I’m crushing on Miley Cyrus?!  ‘Cause if you are, you’re gonna get it good!”

            No!  Will you calm down?!  You’re completely missing the point.  Now concen-are you crushing on Miley Cyrus?

            “No.”

            Good… glad we’ve cleared that up.

            “Can we get on with this?”

            Fine.  Now, for real, concentrate.  When any character is on the screen, you look at him or her.  You notice the facial features, hair color, movements, basically the character’s looks and actions.  You with me?

            “Yes- painfully.”

            Okay, you’ve looked at the character… but have you really seen the character?

            “And we’re back at the dead end.”

            No, we’re not.  When you’ve watched Miley’s character, for example, have you learned about her personality, her hopes, her fears?  Have you gotten a feel for her world?

            “Oh, you mean the struggles of living a double life- annoying teeny bopper by day, pop star wanna-be by night?”

            I can really tell you’re a fan.  But yes, something like that.

            “Yeah, I guess.”

            Then you did see the character.  You saw beyond the façade into that which cannot be seen with the eyes alone.

            “Whaaaat?”

            When you ‘look’ at something, you take something at face value.  When you ‘see’ something, you understand all that embodies the article (past history, emotions, opinions, etc.).  To see something really gives you the complete story of an object or person, not just its physical appearance.

            “Oh… then why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”

            Would you have just looked at this post at a glance and dismissed it, or would you have seen it for its full meaning?

            “If you’ll excuse me now… I have to go write a piece of hate mail to Miley Cyrus and dedicate it to you.”

- LG

          During our class this week, each student was given his/her very own, one-of-a-kind stereotype.  So what does that mean exactly?  Each kid grabbed a label as if he/she was being offered free candy?  In a word, no.  Our teacher, Beth Lykins, proceeded to go around the room and try to define each of us in one word, even if it wasn’t pretty.  I, of course, was the first person to be labeled.  I was called “the observer.”  I notice things around me and crunch all of my observations in my head as if I am computing numbers.  I take it to mean that I analyze everything going on around me and that my work somehow exhibits those thoughts.

            I actually find the title intriguing.  I do try to take note of different things I see or experience and use them as some kind of starting point in my work.  A project does reflect my observations of the world in some way.  I get an even bigger kick out of the label, though, because I’m a fan of the TV show Quantum Leap, and, in the show, one of my favorite characters (Al Calavicci) is referred to as “The Observer.”  It really brings me back to ten years ago, when the first projects I worked on in video were based on QL.  Somehow, it brings everything full circle.  Weird.

            Now, as “the observer,” let me share with you two observations, one from a friend of mine and one from me.  For our last project, I asked my friend Ashley Parr to write a paragraph about me.  Thanks again for the hand, Ash.   I didn’t get it in time to put it in my last post, so here it is:

          “Laura is really one of the most determined people I know. She always tries to make sure that her feet are planted very firmly on the ground. Once she starts something, she works her tail off to make sure it gets done. She can be a bit stubborn, but I think that’s part of the reason why I love her so much. She is a very loyal friend, and she’s also very loyal to herself. She won’t compromise on her beliefs for anything. She remains true to her heart and the people in it.”

          The other observation I have is something that dawned on me yesterday.  I leave you with this-

          “We must dream or we’ll go mad.”

- LG

      I was recently surprised with a bonus feature that was attached to my identity assignment.  I was supposed to find two people, one who knows me and another who really doesn’t know me, and ask them to give a few words regarding what they think of me.  In some morbid way, I feel like I’m asking people to prepare for my eulogy.  Just to clear things up-God, don’t take me now!  Anyway, this post will showcase the results. 

      Let’s start with the person who hasn’t had much of a chance to get to know me.  Her name is Kudzai Chinyadza, a girl who’s taking the audio class that I’m currently in.  We just met this semester, and we don’t really see each other outside of the one day a week we have class.  When I asked her to help me with this assignment, she was very kind to give me a hand.  It was a very odd circumstance, though, because she didn’t know what to say.  What do you say about someone then when you don’t know what to say?  You do what you can-you try to bring some humor to the awkward job and make something up:

      “Laura Gunton is a very outspoken Marketing girl for Budlight. She goes from city to city trying to convince these guys between the ages of 21-25 that Budlight is the way to go! She is very spontaneous in nature and doesn’t worry too much about what people think about her. Although she is currently a Budlight girl, she has higher hopes in life, like producing for the Oprah Show! She has two siblings a younger brother and an older sister whom she is very close too. Laura hopes to Graduate in Spring of 2011 with a Bachelors in Media Arts and Science.”

       Regarding the person who does know me, I asked my dad for help.  If my dad didn’t know me, I would be afraid- lol.  I’m glad he has faith in me.  Here’s what he wrote:

      “Laura Gunton is my daughter.  She is sensitive and bright.  She enjoys music and would be a talented music producer if she gets the opportunity.  She is patient and stubborn enough to complete college and strongly principled so that I’m confident Laura will have a full and happy future.”

      So… how many people does it take to get to the real truth center of my identity?  The world may never know.

- LG

      For this week’s assignment, I was to examine myself and then create something based on my identity.  This wasn’t an easy project to get into.  Why, you ask?  On top of the more than hectic schedule I had, this past week was the build up to Easter.  Who could think of anything beyond Jesus, bunnies, and eggs?  It was difficult to find any time during the holiday preparations.  At least I can tell you that I’m not a giant colored egg- lol.

      As I was thinking about myself, though, I couldn’t help but think of where my life is going.  I always think of a song that tells of a woman’s uncertainty of her future as both her and her spouse live through major moments in their lives together.  It’s called “How Can You See That Far.”  I then think about my future and tell myself that I can’t see that far.  I don’t know what my life will be like in two weeks, let alone in two years.  Everything changes so quickly.  Only God knows what time will bring. 

      That’s why, as I continue to grow older, I’m constantly learning to place my life in God’s hands.  Even if I make all sorts of plans for my future, they’re always bound to change.  All I know of is that, during this time in my life, I’m being prepared for things seen and unseen.  Is uncertainty a pain in the butt?  Yes.  Would I love to grab my future by the horns and make everything happen the way I want it to?  Sure.  However, I’ve also learned that, whenever I’ve taken it upon myself to push for major change that would alter the course of my existence, I’ve been held back by means beyond my control.  I find that it is in my best interest that things don’t work out.  God has another path for me that He reveals in time, another path that I must trust Him to guide me on.  Everything happens for a reason.  There are no accidents.

      Inspired by these thoughts, I wrote a short poem about where I am now and what I know I will have to face.  To accompany the poem, I also drew a picture of a lit candle in stained glass form.  When you hold a lit candle in a dark chasm, you can only see as far ahead as that which the small flame will illuminate.  When you look at your life, you can only see as far ahead as what is in front you.  As for why I chose the stained glass look, let’s just say that I’m always taken with a Christian theme.

      A big part of my identity rests in my faith in God and what He does for me.

“Future Course”

Preparation

What lies ahead

Preparation

My future stead

Preparation

Great unknowns

Preparation

Gifts on loan

Separation

What has to come

Separation

Thy will be done

Separation

Thoughts of the past

Separation

Does it have to last?

Hesitation

Forward view obstructed

Hesitation

Future yet constructed

Hesitation

What will be will be?

Hesitation

What will become of me?

Stained Glass Candle

- LG

      Today, I skipped class to go on an exciting adventure to… the doctor.  Ok, my day wasn’t a fun scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and, yes Virginia, I did have an excused absence.  Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.  Instead of telling you what I did do, however, I thought I would explain what I didn’t do with my time-

• 1. I did not go to a medical building because I am the healthiest person on the planet.
• 2. Contrary to the title of this post, I did not walk into the patient room with a carrot in my hand and say, “Ehh… what’s up, doc?”
• 3. I did not donate my body to science (though I’m sure many would marvel at my current state of well-being- LOL).
• 4. I did not steal all of the cotton swabs and tongue depressors I could.
• 5. I did not raid the nurse’s station for free medicine samples.
• 6. I did not get the question, “Can you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time?”
• 7. I did not reenact the preschool song “Head, Shoulders, Knees, & Toes.”
• 8. I did not try my hand at winning the game Operation.
• 9. I did not get a written script that read, “You put the lime in the coconut and shake it all up.”
• 10. I did not leave the office with a lollipop in my hand (I miss those good ol’ days. ).

      So… what did I do?  I can’t tell you that under the strict guidelines of doctor-patient confidentiality.

- LG

          This past Monday was the day I conducted my fear experiment.  In front of my class, I played a short video I created.  It wasn’t a nice video, however.  The viewer takes a journey in the darkness up a flight of stairs towards a partially open door that is surrounded by bright light.  As the viewer takes each step on the staircase, images and sounds of the past appear.  The “compassionate” Hitler is seen with the sick and with children.  Hitler and his Nazi forces march on the world.  The images then turn towards the United States’ Nazi movement in the 1930s.  Throngs of supporters appear in Madison Square Garden against a backdrop of George Washington’s image with Nazi swastikas.  Children and families attend Nazi summer camps on the east coast, where they are indoctrinated in Nazi propaganda and become soldiers for a “clean United States.”  Scenes then turn to Stalin and his forces, as multitudes of communist fighters march on.  The dead who suffered under Stalin’s regime are seen as playwright George Bernard Shaw offers the beliefs of these horrific men: “If you’re not producing as much as you consume… then clearly we cannot use the big organization of our society for the purpose of keeping you alive because your life does not benefit us, and it can’t be of very much use to yourself.”  Once the viewer reaches it, the door opens to the white illumination.  The screen then dissolves to black to showcase the words “Could History Repeat Itself?”

            What exactly is the fear being represented?  Fear of truth, what is known and what is unknown.  These things did happen, but how much do we know of our history?  How many facts have been kept away from us?  How could humanity be so blind and inhumane?  Do we know enough to prevent these events from happening again?  The scary truth is that we may be closer to this than we think, and, as human beings, none of us are exempt from this frightening fate.

            After I showed the video, I think I got a positive reaction from the class.  The general shared feeling was that the subject matter struck each person on a deep chord.  I tend to think that some people didn’t even know what to say because they were taken by its strong message.  With the video, I also shared the truth of what I had learned surrounding the historical clips in my project.  This sparked a small discussion that jumped from brainwashing and the group mentality (like those exhibited in the Nazi supporters) to what truth we had really been taught in school (such as the truth surrounding the WWII Japanese internment camps) to other memories of mass human suffering.  My classmates didn’t dismiss the video.  Rather, it made them think further about life, history, and the capabilities of the human mind. 

            I am pleased with the response to the video.  Before, I really didn’t know what the reaction would be.  In my lifetime, I’ve gotten so many different reactions to things I’ve done, from praise to attack, that I’m never able to predict how someone will truly behave to my work.  I almost expected some people to dismiss the video or laugh me off as being “extreme.”  To see that the video made some of my classmates think, however, really made me feel like the experiment was a success.  Fear doesn’t have to come with an evident scream of shock.  Putting a haunting thought in someone’s mind, an image that he/she won’t forget, can be just as effective.

            I’m not sure if there’s anything I can do to improve the experiment.  If I made the video longer, or if I showcased more historical cases, I think that the video would become too much for the viewer to handle.  The short scenes of historical footage I used were related to charged subject matter.  I feel it’s better to give such ideas in small doses so that the viewer can understand the message.  Any more material would make the viewer confused, and the video would begin to lose its effectiveness.  It would become boring and too drawn out for a walk up a staircase.  Besides, who wants to stare at a long montage of scenes of Hitler and Stalin?

            Out of all the other projects that were presented in class, my project affected me the most.  I had anxiety fits doing this project, from capturing footage to editing to watching it.  I went to bed seeing the faces of some of the most horrible people who ever lived.  Every step I took made me feel like I was going through an attack, especially as I stared at constant reminders of death.  Emotionally, it was one of the hardest projects I ever worked on.  On the other hand, I was also pretty fearful of seeing one of my classmates take his glass eyeball out of his eye socket.  Too much stress is never a good thing.

- LG

[NOTE:  I'm having problems uploading my video to the blog.  I'll keep trying, but there is the possibility that blog.com won't cooperate.]

***[4/12/10  UPDATE:  The link below should allow you to access a compressed version of the video.]***

Truth

           For our next assignment, our class is to examine fear, form an experiment based on fear, and collect the findings.  For me, this isn’t an easy task.  Some people react to scary images, while others don’t even flinch.  It’s hard to know how desensitized some of us have become to images that should make us stop in our tracks.  The one sure thing is that in order for something to inspire fear in a person, it has to affect them personally.  If he/she doesn’t feel that it could touch, harm, or happen to him/her in any significant way, he/she will dismiss the subject. 

            As I was trying to come up with an experiment to test human fear, I used my own feelings as a guide.  I had recently seen images that struck me with shock and fear.  I thought I would take those images and use them in my project/experiment.  I honestly don’t know how my classmates will react to it.  Again, it’s one of those times when it really depends on your own outlook on life.  My hope is that it will touch the people in my class somehow.  I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.  Speaking for myself, though, this project hasn’t ceased to move me in some way.

- LG

  During today’s class, we experimented with fears.  In relation to this class, what does that actually mean?  Well, it means that we as a group went outside and froze ourselves into place at the sound of the word “banana.”  In other words, we went out in public and acted like silly crazies.  Every two minutes, we all did our best to freeze into place as if we were taking live snapshots of our class in session, bizarre poses and all.  Oh, if only I could have known what people passing by were thinking… then again, maybe it’s better that I don’t.  Honestly, for as zany as the exercise was, it really didn’t bother me.  It actually would have been a fun activity… if not for the fact that I had to lug around my stuff everywhere and someone had to splatter Coke around me during the stunt.  I guess I’m just a silly fool at heart.    I’ve learned two things about facing fears in public, though– leave the good stuff at home, stay away from the soda.

- LG